When Healing Is Difficult

Let's be honest. Healing, recovering, mending, bouncing back, growing….can, at times, be plain hard. The emotions can be overwhelming, difficult to process, and unpredictable. It's those moments when sadness rushes over you mid conversation. The moments you wake up in the morning, and the first thing you do is ball your eyes out. Those painful memories that rush through your mind like a damn breaking its leverage. It’s when everything is broken, pieces are lying all around and it’s hard to identify what is what…and you have no idea how to even begin putting your life back together. Healing can be difficult.

When you find yourself in this space, first thing, breathe. Put your hand over your heart and take 3-5 deep breaths. No really. Right now, pause and take a couple of deep breaths.

Now, acknowledge that you are in pain, and gently remind yourself that pain is a part of life. You are not the only, first, or last human to experience suffering, so you are not alone. Let that bring hope to your heart that others have been through and made it through what you are currently experiencing. Finally, with your hand still over your heart, ask yourself to share compassion with yourself during this difficult moment.

Take a moment to feel that, to connect with yourself.

Now that the heart is open, let’s open the mind by diving into this perspective:

Healing is just a way of reconstruction.

When everything seems to be falling apart, it’s really just life’s way of taking everything that doesn’t serve you, help you, make you better or bring you joy, and getting rid of it.

When we ignore, refuse, minimize, or reject the many signs life has already given us to make positive changes, Life, loving us so deeply and seeing our inability to help ourselves, will do it for us.

It’s like a parent to a child or a teacher to a student. "I’m taking this away to protect and help you, not to hurt you – though you may kick, scream and weep, you will later see the benefit of my decision." This is very much how God the Universe loving assist us. Understand that whatever is falling away from you right now is for you. The pain you are experiencing is the feeling of detachment. Everything that doesn’t serve you, help you or make you better has been or is being destroyed.

Read that again.

REJOICE IN THAT! You can now shift your energy to creating circumstances and relationships that reflect what you truly want instead of trying to make broken pieces fit with a half smile. When things are broken, we fix it! And you are in such a beautiful space to recreate your life. (I know it doesn't feel like it but trust me, you are!)

I always love to include practical steps, so here are a few:

  1. Pray, pray, pray. When you pray, you express to Source what you are feeling. All the anger, sadness, regret, frustration, confusion, even the hopefulness and bright sides. Vent it all out. Journal it, speak it out loud, how ever your communicate with Source. Then, ask for what you do want to see happen in your life, and every morning thank God that it is already done, because it is.

  2. Spend time doing things that make you feel good. Healing is not just about dealing with heavy emotions. It’s also about balance. The balance of releasing and allowing. Allow yourself to receive good feelings by doing things that bring you joy and fun! Whatever that is for you! (ex: shopping/window shopping, time in nature, gym session, playing with animals, your favorite movie, painting, dancing, going for a walk, cleaning your space, etc) There is a time to reflect and a time to LIVE.

  3. Surround yourself with people who love you. Negative thoughts love to pop up and attack your mind when you are alone. Isolation can create an idle mind and an idle mind is “the devils playground”. This can lead to a deeper sadness or depression. It's okay to spend some time alone but also make time to be with those who will support you, encourage you, and love on you during this difficult time of healing. Humans aren't meant to get through life alone.

  4. Love on yourself with positive self-talk. Boost yourself up with kind words! Stop being harsh on you and be nicer to yourself. Speak to yourself the very way you would want someone to speak to you. Change the screen on your phone to a positive self-loving message. Look in the mirror (as funny as it may feel) and tell yourself how much you love and like you. List to yourself in the mirror all of the things you like about you. Boost yourself up!

  5. Get busy renewing your mind! You can do all the things on this list and more, but if you don't renew your mind and apply action, you will be going back around the same mountain(s). Renew your mind through books, podcast, audio, video, attending seminars, and then applying what you have learned to your life. Pick up a book that will enlighten you on whatever it is you are healing through. Just went through a really tough breakup? Grab a book on loving yourself after breakups. Fighting with family? Grab a book on healthy boundaries. And so forth. The library is free so there are NO EXCUSES.

View this time period of healing as getting prepare for your next season of life. And the words you speak over your life right now, the actions you take and the attitude you have are all contributing to what’s next. Use this reconstruction period to blow your own mind at how strong you are and how capable you are at creating your own reality. Healing is just transformation. Transform in the most amazing freeing way.

Light and Love,


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